Perpetual Sensitivity
by Heartbreak.Of.A.Marauder
Summary: (All right reserved) 15 years is a long time to miss someone, especially when they're supposed to be dead. Remus Lupin's past comes back to haunt him in the nonchalant fashion he always adored, turning his world upside down. Revelations are to be had before his cold closed off heart can beat for her again.
1. Introduction

**Introduction, Disclaimer and Explanations**

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening to you wherever you may be! It has been a disgracefully long time since I last wrote anything, whether it is for an on-going story or a new one but, here I am with a brand new story! When looking for fan fiction of this kind I did notice that it was somewhat lacking so I decided that perhaps I should write something so this idea was formulated while discussing Harry Potter with a very close friend of mine, and slowly it is coming to life. If you are reading this now I am very pleased that you have found my work and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Now onto the next order of business, there are a few things that need to be said before you delve into the first chapter. First this is **I do not in any way shape or form own any character, event or thing that comes directly from the Harry Potter franchise – they are owned by J.K. Rowling.** I do however own the character of Rosalia Black and anyone connected to her that isn't featured in the films or books, I do also own a few onetime characters that appear to help my plot along. Secondly this fan fiction is based on the films as I am yet to read the books (but I may borrow some smaller details from the book). Thirdly, this is a fan fiction meaning anything can happen! Thirdly, I am only an amateur writer so there will be times where my spelling is off, or my participles aren't quite right so please bear with me. Also I would like to say that I am also open to any criticisms you wish to say or any points you would like to make that I may have got wrong **however** if there are any generally rude or mean comments left then they will be deleted because I don't have time for you to waste my time. I would also like to add for that for the most part this story will be rated 'T' anything that needs a higher rating will be put into a different book so innocent readers can remain innocent.

Now onto the explanation, for now there is only one explanation that I need to warn you of beforehand and that is this piece of work uses the post-modern literary technique of temporal distortion. This is where I (the author) will use a nonlinear timeline meaning that there will be jumps to the past and then back to the present, this can make texts difficult to follow but there will be warnings for when it is happening so it should ease any confusion.

Thank you for listening to me babble and possible waste some of your time for the very first part of the story but now without further ado, here is Chapter One!


	2. Chapter 1 - Hello

**I DO NOT OWN ANY HARRY POTTER CONTENT EXCEPT FOR ROSALIA!**

 **Please like, review and follow, hope you all have a brilliant day!**

* * *

 **Chapter One: Hello.**

Present Day

The leather jacketed figure leaned against the large stone archway that lead into the Grand Hall, staring at the floor, happily smiling to herself as the voices of the choir filled her ears, she liked their little tale of Macbeth and had no doubt that Filius Flitwick was pleased with their performance. With one final croak the choir dispersed and took their seats, she leaned around the archway just as professor Dumbledore reached the impressive golden own podium.

"Welcome! Welcome! To another year at Hogwarts. Now I would like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by our excellent feast. First I am pleased to welcome professor R. J. Lupin who's kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck professor!" declared Dumbledore.

She watched as the man she once called her partner and best friend stood, his hands clasped together graciously, as he gave his bows to the applauding students she noted how his affliction had aged him over the 15 years since she last saw him, although despite this she still found him as dashing as the day he plucked up the courage to ask her out when they were both in their sixth year of schooling, with the pink scar being his most predominant feature she took in the rest of him; the misty blue eyes that seemed to be able to find your deepest darkest secret, his dishevelled hair, the way his suit seemed to hang awkwardly from his frame as well as the greying of age that was clear on the parts of his shirt that was visible. She knew that his habits hadn't changed much simply by looking at him. The longer her stare lingered the tighter the imaginary belt around her chest became, letting out a shaky breath she tried to calm her nerves, 15 years is an awfully long time; especially when you're supposed to be dead. She was brought out of her thoughts by Dumbledore continuing his speech.

"Our Care of Magical Creature's teacher for many years has decided to retire, in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately I'm delighted to announce that his place will be taken by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid." One again the Grand Hall erupted into applause, hoots and whistles of delight and appreciation also filled the air.

"Finally on a more describing note, at the request of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts until further notice will play host to the dementor's of Azkaban, until such a time that Sirius Black is captured. The dementor's will be stationed at every entrance to the grounds, now whilst I've been assured that their presence will not disrupt our day to day activities… A word of caution, dementor's are vicious creatures they will not distinguish between the one they hunt, and the one that gets in their way, therefore I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. As an extra precaution we have been asked to welcome a number of Auror's into our home here at Hogwarts, with one taking a place on our staff. Please give a warm welcome to Professor Rosalia Black!"

Before Rosalia had even began to move, applause erupted once more, she rounded the archway and began to make her way down the centre isle of the Great Hall, her raven black hair and coat billowing behind her as she walked, her gaze did not stray from Dumbledore as she went despite the feeling of a familiar set of eyes watching her every move; she gave a low bow to Dumbledore as she reached the bottom of the steps then pivoted effortlessly and bowed to the students. As Dumbledore began his speech again she began to move towards the door to her left, not once looking back at the room for fear that she would meet _his_ gaze.

Once at the door, she pressed her back firmly against it and watched the room spotting the familiar mop of wavy light brown hair sat at the Gryffindor table. Out of the corner of her eye, his slightly hunched figure took her notice, he didn't move. Sighing she dwelled on the decision of coming back to Hogwarts, it was very kind of Dumbledore to allow her to be the Auror on the staff but she was also worried about any repercussions that may occur with Remus, they had a history – a very long one too.

As students and teachers alike finished their meals they each began to filter out and still Remus did not move, once the room was empty Rosalia watched intently as he slowly began to move to stand, as he did she took cautious steps towards him; her boots making a slight clicking sound as she did, the sound reverberated off the walls and high sealing making it louder than intended causing his form to stiffen again. She stopped mere feet away from him, he was close enough to touch and yet she knew deep down he was going to be miles away.

"Remus…" she spoke softly almost expecting him to erupt like a volcano, but he said nothing, his frame remained rigid and the seconds that ticked by seemed to drag on for hours. Just as she opened her mouth to call to him again, he took off; pushing the chair with such force that it nearly fell on its back, her eyes glued to his tall form, running her fingers through her hair she let a satirical smile grace her lips, she knew this was to be expected, he'd need some time to adjust after all these years.


	3. Chapter 2 - Expelliarmus

**Look what's been spotted in its natural habitat! An author's note!:** Well hello there! I hope your day has been or is going to be splendid, firstly I would just like to reiterate that this fan fiction I based purely on the films BUT if there is any small detail from the books that you the reader would like to see in future don't hesitate to contact me! I don't bite!... much. Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing, the disclaimer! – **I *sadly* don't own anything from the Harry Potter universe, the only thing I own is this story, plot and Rosalia.** Thank you very much for witnessing my babble, it's boring I know but for me it's necessary, LOVE YOU!

 **Chapter 2: Expelliarmus**

Present Day

Third Person P.O.V

At quarter to nine the next morning Rosalia walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, it looked exactly the same as when she'd last seen it, the lengthy skeleton still hung from the high sealing, the tall windows to the left let light flood in allowing it to dance along the wooden floors, the door to the office was open enough that she could see beams of light, as she climbed the stairs her fingers lightly brushed over the stone banister. Pushing the door open a little further she saw that Remus was nowhere to be found. Slowly she walked around the desk observing all aspects of his office as she went, his desk already littered with papers and books, while piles of others stood against the wall, pulling out the large leather chair she lowered herself into it liking the way the material felt cold to touch. As she observed the room a little more her near ink black eyes came to rest upon the ratty old copy of "Dueling for Dummies" as well as "The Standard Book of Spells – Grade Two" and "The History of Magic". Smiling softly her mind drifted back to what she considered were happier times.

*Flashback to Year Two at Hogwarts*

"You're trying too much" Sirius chortled much to her dismay as she pushed herself up off the floor. She felt lucky that it was only James and Peter that were watching.

"How can someone possible try too hard at spells?" Rosalia huffed back at him while dusting off her skirt.

For over an hour Rosalia had been trying to master 'Expelliarmus', with each failed attempt she'd get more and more frustrated until she felt like ripping that smug smirk off her cousins face and sticking socks down the throats of James and Peter. She moved back into her starting stance and prepared for another round. With the slightest flick of his wrist Sirius began to send a never ending stream of spells at her, she moved quickly to dodge each but barely had enough time to catch her breath.

"Why don't you actually try and cast a spell instead of running about like a nonce!" Sirius hollered at her. Gritting her teeth she stopped moving, the white balls of light came towards her at a dizzying speed but before they could reach her, Rosalia's arm flicked up as she said "Protego!" Then when she saw her window of opportunity, her wand turned to Sirius.

"Expelliarmus!" with a flick of her wrist she was propelled backwards and landed with a thud; the air knocked out of her lungs, as she gasped, she could hear Sirius and the boys cracking up with laughter. Traitorous tears of frustration slid down her cheeks as she sat upright, she wiped them away quickly hoping that Sirius would not see, otherwise she'd never hear the end of it.

"You know it may help if you didn't flourish your wand so much…" a new voice said quietly, looking to her right she saw Remus, her cousins best friend. She scanned his features hoping to see if this was a little prank so they could get more laughs at her expense but she saw nothing. As she stood he made his way onto the platform. He motioned for Rosalia to come closer to him but when she arrived at his side he shuffled awkwardly to the left, like he was afraid of getting too close.

"Watch how I do it…" he aimed his wand at a still laughing Sirius "…Expelliarmus!" she watched as the command sent Sirius flying back onto the floor of the dueling hall. She couldn't help the snort that escaped her lips causing Remus to give her a lopsided grin.

"If you make the flourish smaller and the flick a little stronger you'll be able to do that yourself" he offered

She aimed her wand and began the movement for the spell but was interrupted "Woah, woah, woah, that's still a little too large of a flourish" he smiled

She gave a small sigh and silently tried again, this time without any interruptions, she looked at Remus out of the corner of her eye hoping not to see any disapproval, and was relieved when she didn't. So she tried the movement again, and again and again.

"Now try it with the incantation" he said lightly, she returned a nervous smile and hoped this worked, Rosalia really didn't want to end up on her backside for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Remus left her on the platform just as Sirius took his position at the other end, she glanced at the boy and he gave her a slight nod of encouragement.

"I can do this…" Rosalia mumbled to herself "…Flourish small, flick strong"

"I don't see why you bothered to get up" Sirius joked knowing that it would rile his cousin up

"Expelliarmus!" She launched her attack without warning and watched with glee as he shot backwards with a whoosh of air, she squealed with delight before retorting. "I think it is you Sirius, that shouldn't have bothered getting back up"

"You cheated!" he cried as James and Peter's laughter once again filled the room.

"I most certainly did not! I simply had a better teacher than you" she smiled back oh so sweetly.

"Do you need some ice Sirius?" James managed through the roles of laughter.

"Sod off Potter" Sirius muttered "and next time Remus, don't go helping the enemy" Remus said nothing but grinned back at his best friend.

They then broke out into what could only be described as playful banter, each one throwing insults at the other, Rosalia watched from the sidelines giggling at some of the comments made by the boys, Sirius always jabbered on about them but she'd never got to experience it first-hand; they seemed to be really close. Each one taking turns roasting the other but she noticed that Peter rarely spoke he just stood there grinning and occasionally laughing at some of the things the rest of them said.

It wasn't long before Professor Onyx made her way into the dueling hall with a class, with a shocked look on her face, she wasn't expecting to see five second year students in there alone so she quickly shooed them away. Oddly enough Rosalia found herself following the boys back to the Gryffindor common room, only leaving to eat dinner later on in the evening.

As they sat in the Great Hall with the magnificent feast before them, Rosalia sat next to Sirius on this occasion and the boys either sat next to or across from him; never really paying attention to Rosalia. The boys jabbered on and Rosalia pushed some peas around her plate with her fork while occasionally looking over at Remus. Rosalia had always thought of Remus as being the weird loner kid that it may have been best to stay away from but after what she had witnessed this afternoon as well as the way he was around Sirius, James and Peter she had changed her perception of him. He wasn't a weird loner; he was just very cautious and possibly socially awkward. Maybe it would be good for him to have another friend that he could trust? She hoped that he would trust her but already had the feeling that it would be an uphill battle with him.

*Present Day*

She sighed as she stood, those were definitely happier times. Pushing herself out of the much larger chair she walked out of his office, closing the door as she went. Her boots clicked against the stone slab floors of the corridors, she pulled her Prussian blue silk velvet jacket tighter around her frame as she went, the light breeze that floated in through the window arches toyed with her hair, lifting the raven black layers exposing her silver curl. As Rosalia rounded the corner she could see a small group of fourth years sat against the ledge, the sounds of pubescent travelled down the corridor, as Rosalia neared the boys their laughter died down.

"I'm sure you all have better places to be that lurking in the corridors gentlemen" she looked each of the five boys in the eye before she refocused her sight on the boy slightly to her left, his near ink black eyes never straying from hers.

"You, with me, the rest of you should make your way to you classes" she motioned to the young lad and began walking away from the group before he could give a response.

As the pair walked away Rosalia chuckled a little "They all looked a tad bit afraid then"

The young boy gave a wide toothy smile back at her "I think they did shit themselves a bit, it's not every day an Auror wants to have a chat."

"Language Felix" she said in a tone that was meant to sound harsh but was softer.

They turned to face one another and gave knowing looks before breaking out into larger smiles. "By the way that was one heck of a dramatic entrance last night" Felix complimented

"I was always told that I had a dramatic flair when I was younger than you" Rosalia chuckled to herself. "I'll see you later at lunch kiddo" when they got to the dueling hall.

She watched as Felix walked away, hopefully heading to his lesson now, she reminded him of the boys when they were his age. She smiled softly before placing a palm on the doors that led into the dueling hall, she hoped that Remus would be in a lighter mood than last night but she seriously doubted that.

One thing before you go, please favourite, follow and leave a comment!

Until the next time, good-bye!


	4. Chapter 3 - That's Life

**What's the weather like where you are?**

 **I still don't own anything related to the awesome wizarding world of Harry Potter, Rosalia and maybe one or two others are completely mine though. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 3: That's Life**

Quietly Rosalia slipped into the duelling hall but she still managed to catch the attention of everyone's favourite werewolf. Her years of training allowed her to see how his demeanour turned cold momentarily as he made eye contact with her but as soon as his focus returned to the class of First Years in front of him, he resumed his usual demeanour. She couldn't help but feel a little put out but she knew that it was to be expected. Instead of making a fuss she walked around the mixed group of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw First Years and stood with Remus at the front of the room because whether he liked it or not they were going to have to work together as this was her specialty too.

"Now I would like for you all to get into pairs as we will be practicing the formalities of duelling and the body binding spell – Petrificus Totalus. Now don't get your wants out yet, just say it nice a clearly… Petrificus Totalus" He spoke clearly in a commanding way that had all of the student's mesmerized.

"Petrificus Totalus" the class replied back in unison.

"Well done" Remus praised, almost like he knew how much a little encouragement could go.

"One more time please" he asked and their reply shortly followed.

After that he allowed them to split off into their chosen pairs to practice the spell, many didn't master it and all their wands produce was a small whining noise that soon died out but never the less Remus continued to support them by giving them snippets of advice that could vastly improve their skill much like he had done for Rosalia in her Second Year at Hogwarts. For the lucky few that did manage to successfully produce the spell she was left to help out their partner as well as answer any questions that they had about the lesson or the spell in general. After 30 minutes of this exercise had passed Remus once again called the room to attention to announce that they would be getting the chance to witness some of the spells they would learn as well as proper duelling etiquette.

"Miss Black, if you would be so kind as to accompany me to the platform…" Remus politely asked Rosalia was a little surprised by his request not because of what he was asking her to do but because he addressed her directly – all be it without casting so much as a glance in her direction but it was a step forward never the less.

"Please gather around but keep a safe distance from the platform itself for your own safety." The young children did as they were told.

They faced each other on the middle of the platform and at this proximity Rosalia could see how much the fifteen years had actually aged him. The pair brought their wands up to their faces before dropping them to their sides; they both did a low bow as a sign of respect and proceeded to walk five paces away from each other. In their Hogwarts days Remus was the better dualist but after all of Rosalia's training and experience as an Auror she was likely to be better now. They assumed their starting stances and waited in silence. The children watched, eyes wide, mouths open expecting nothing less than a fantastic show.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Rosalia exclaimed, but just like in their childhood Remus was ready for the attack as he countered it with the spell 'Protego'.

Their dual continued, spells being shot back and forth, one after the other in a ceaseless flurry that made the watching students wonder if the pair were too equally matched. Both had vast experience in duelling from their schooling years as well as the First Wizarding War but surely one had to be better than the other. The minutes that flew past saw both Rosalia and Remus gain the upper hand but subsequently lose it; this continued for a while but sometimes one of them would be moments away from victory however the opponent would cruelly snatch it away allowing the duel to continue. The longer the battle the more tired Remus and Rosalia got, this meant they weren't as fast in casting spells, countering attacks or defending themselves.

With slightly ragged breathing the pair looked at each other before Rosalia seized the opportunity presents "Expelliarmus!" She said expecting to finally finish this duel but Remus wouldn't give her that victory not with the mood he was in, he cast a defence spell before quickly following it with 'Expelliarmus' too. Rosalia hadn't expected the follow up attack and was surprised to feel her wand leave her hand.

The room erupted into applause, they bowed once more and as they did Rosalia took a mental note that she should never underestimate Remus Lupin. He went on to talk about how etiquette should always be upheld in any duel as a sign of respect - even if they didn't like their opponent. She smiled to herself and couldn't help thinking how even though what he was saying was true it may be slightly aimed at her…Maybe. Then again it might not. The only person that would know is Remus Lupin himself.

Once Remus had finished his speech he gave the first years homework then dismissed them leaving Rosalia and himself alone. She watched his back as he too walked to the door to leave.

"You always were a great teacher" she offered in a bid to get him to stop, however he never missed a beat and continued away from her, she widened her steps in order to catch up with his retreating form. It may have looked a little odd to anyone watching, their pace was so fast someone may have thought that they were being chased by something. Rosalia struggled at first to keep the same pace as Remus, his longer legs giving him the advantage, once she fell into step alongside him she tried again to strike up a conversation.

"What topic is tomorrow's lesson with the third years going to be?" Although her question was innocent it still earned a quick scowl and was met by silence.

She sighed through her nose before carrying on "I understand that nocturnal beasts won't be started for weeks so that leaves things like Boggarts, Red Caps, Hinkypunks and Salaman-"

"What I teach is to be no concern of you _Miss Black_ " he spoke calmly but the indignant way he said her name had her thinking something different.

"No concern?" She replied, slightly baffled.

"Precisely"

Rosalia fell silent for a moment or two as they walked the remainder of the corridor and crossed the threshold of the classroom, once the door had closed she spoke again and copying Lupin's indignant tone.

"Actually _Mr_ _Lupin_ I think you'll find that I am here to assist in the teaching of Defence against the Dark Arts, so it is **my** concern too"

"I am not going to be in need of you help"

"I think you find you are which the reason why Dumbledore recruited me was"

Remus didn't reply and went about his business setting out textbooks ready for his next lesson.

"If it was anyone else you wouldn't mind working with them... would you?" Rosalia questioned after a while.

With his back to her he stopped what he was doing allowing her to walk around the room until there was just a desk between them. He studied the cover of the books he was currently holding like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Remus says something please" Rosalia spoke quietly

"Your sudden reappearance opens up a lot of questions but I have nothing to say to you" he replied with the same calm tone as before.

"Look, there's no need for any sort of friendship or anything but you need to talk to me" she reached out and touched his arm, the worn fabric of his cardigan felt rough under her fingertips and she could feel the heat he was emitting but soon all she could feel was the coolness of the air, he had moved away at such an impressive speed you could've sworn that she'd burned him. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued to look at him, his gaze still trained on the hard wood floor.

"Fifteen years..." His whispered barely audible.

"Pardon?" She replied in a similarly soft tone.

"Fifteen Years." Remus repeated clearly, his head lifted and he locked eyes with Rosalia, she opened her mouth to speak but Remus beat her to it.

"For fifteen years you let me believe that you were dead. Fifteen years I have been alone while you've been off gallivanting, but that's just typical of you isn't it! You never were one to care for the feelings of others though were you?-" He tried his best to keep himself composed but with every passing syllable Rosalia could sense that he was losing his cool.

"Remus that's not fa-"

"Life is not fair!" His voice was raised slightly, not enough for others to hear but loud enough that Rosalia flinched.

"That's you response to everything! Always was, always will be" Rosalia replied in the same way.

"Because it's true!" He slammed the remaining textbooks onto the nearest desk.

"No!" She shouted "You think that everything is unfair simple because of your blasted condition"

"And there is nothing I can do to change that! But you one the other hand, you could've reached out! It takes mere moments to send a message"

"I... Remus it's..." She tried desperately to quickly form an argument against him but she came up with nothing

"That's all I needed, one message, something that let me know that you were alive, for God's sake is that too much to ask?!" He was right, it would've taken mere moments, but that could've compromised that safety of them both.

"Remus you wouldn't understand" Rosalia said exasperated.

"Why? Because of my _condition_ " He roared

"Keep your voice down! That's not what I meant and you know that"

"How am I supposed to know anything when you won't tell me?!"

Rosalia pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a harsh huff of air, it was no good shouting at each other and if they carried on they would only get louder and continue on in circles, there would be no way to explain the reasons why when they were both in a mood, he wouldn't understand and she'd only get frustrated. Casting him one last look she turned on her heel and left him standing in the middle of the classroom. As she left part of her hoped that he would follow and try to stop her but he didn't. She continued on her way back to her room, her strides long and fast, her face like thunder; matching her mood.

 **A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, please favourite and comment, I'd love to hear what you thought! Much love from the marauder x**


End file.
